seinfeld the couch script

JERRY: Well, I'm sure that they can deliver it to your apartment. JOE (passes George a bowl): Here's some nuts. Could I have a word? And, the best part is, he doesn't play games. GEORGE: Well, I was very comfortable! Could it...? He also co-wrote the screenplays for the films The Cat in the Hat, EuroTrip and The Dictator. JERRY: I love this couch. POPPIE (opening the gift basket): What's this? JERRY: Well, what is it then?! They're trying to kill Poppie?! CARL: You know, someday...we're going to get enough people in the Supreme Court to change that law. You're wiped!'. Breakfast At Tiffany's? And I have to say...it was pretty much all my fault. JERRY: Well, what if Poppie felt the same way? You, uh...you got room in the truck for me? It's not very far. Of course, I already have a lot of money. I would like to be, but I'm not. ELAINE: Because he, well...he's just so good-looking. And what is his stand on abortion? ELAINE: Can I offer you anything to drink? Look what you did! ELAINE (to Carl): Excuse me, I was wondering if would it be possible if you could deliver the old couch to my apartment? INT. KRAMER: Why don't you sit down, Poppie? JERRY: Well, Kramer told us all about your business venture together. POPPIE: They owe me for those ducks. JERRY: Well, I'm certainly glad I brought it up. If I would have any of this, I would die. Why don't we just call it the 'half-conscious deadbeat with no job, home all day, eating Cheetos and watching TV' recliner? Nuts! CARL: Well, I better get this couch back to Jerry's. The following is the final episode I would have lDisclaimer: This script was written for strictly noncommercial and purely entertainment purposes only. CARL: No, I hate furniture. GEORGE: I'd like to rent Breakfast At Tiffany's. JERRY: I'm sorry about the gift, I didn't know about your condition. JERRY: You got a regular 'Manhattan Project' going on over there. Let's go Jerry, c'mon. ELAINE (to Carl): Excuse me, I was wondering if would it be possible if you could deliver the old couch to my apartment? JERRY (clearly creeped out by having to shake Poppie's hand): Hello, Poppie. I mean, it goes back so far, that thing...I mean, it's like, 'Go to bed already! As it happens, New York Magazine just judged his kitchen to be one of the cleanest in the city. Transcribed by: The News Guy(Mike) Guest Stars. ELAINE (in a southern accent): Ooh, I can't wait to get me a fella and make mah own pie! He's buzzed their apartment on the intercom. KRAMER: Alright! She likes Audrey Hepburn very much. You know, if it's not about sports, I find it very hard to concentrate. GEORGE: So, we watching the movie, or are we still talking? I could go pick it up. CLERK: Well, I could put it on reserve for you, if you'd like. ELAINE (looking in the fridge): All I've got is grape juice. Would you mind if he watched Breakfast At Tiffany's with us? ELAINE: Well, your mother must be very proud of you. Hazel...and filbert. I can't look at it. ', New scene - Kramer and Poppie in the kitchen of the restaurant, making the first 'test pizza.'. ... She was over here on the couch. JERRY: Nothing, the moving guys are taking it. Dec 19, 2015 - Explore J BP's board "Seinfeld (The Chicken Roaster) 8", followed by 598 people on Pinterest. (To Jerry) You know, I'm gonna call him, I'm gonna order the duck for you. POPPIE: And what gives you the right to do that? New scene - Elaine shows up at Jerry's apartment. KRAMER: Well, I happened to be eating at Poppie's when I told him the "old" idea, and his eyes - waaaaaah! Anyway, I'm sorry again about the......the...the... KRAMER (to Poppie): So long. JERRY: Oh, you really missed something. New scene - Jerry and Elaine in Jerry's apartment. Why don't we just call it the 'half-conscious deadbeat with no job, home all day, eating Cheetos and watching TV' recliner? SEINFELD Episode no. You got grape juice all over our couch, you've ruined our couch! Kramer enters. Anyway, he's about to leave, he wants the duck money. New scene - Jerry and Elaine in Jerry's apartment. JOE'S WIFE: Well, I just came back from Angela's, it's not looking very good for Duncan. ELAINE: Well, your mother must be very proud of you. JERRY: Your boyfriend, he's taking it out. If you just give me my duck money, I'll be on my way. ELAINE: Paccino's? "The Gymnast" We offer the widest selection of Movie Scripts, TV Scripts, TV Movie Scripts, Screenplays, Treatments - Results from #6732 ELAINE: Oh, goody. Oh, Elaine! POPPIE: They owe me for those ducks. KRAMER: Yeah. My new sofa! You know? POPPIE: When my mother was abducted by the Communists, she was with child... POPPIE: ...but the Communists, they put an end to that! KRAMER: Did you offer those guys a drink? JERRY: Well, Kramer told us all about your business venture together. Let's go. JERRY: Poppie, I was just curious...where do you stand on the abortion issue? GEORGE: Well you know, if you were sitting right next to her you'd have to console her no matter what. JERRY: Wait till you see it, it's perfect. JERRY: Did you tell him I was sorry I didn't offer him the drink? KRAMER: Well, he's in the hospital. It aired on January 19, 1995. And I shampoo every day. It doesn't fold out, so no one can sleep over. JERRY: Hey Carl, I also need you to go to Elaine's and bring my old couch back. POPPIE: It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough! Jerry's new couch is completely ruined when Elaine upsets a man with a bladder condition. GEORGE: Well, it's about Holly Go-Lightly. THE COUCH - SEINFELD Season 6 Episode 5 TV Reviews Directed by Andy Ackerman Written by Larry David. Some cheese... POPPIE: No, no. Finally, they released her and she was on a boat to America to re-unite with us...but she was served some bad fish, and she died...on the high seas. The Couch Unfortunately, the copyright holders of Seinfeld have filed a DMCA request, compelling me to remove the The Couch script from this web site. With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. This was the 12th episode for the sixth season. CARL: I don't remember the last time I felt this way. GEORGE: Hey, let's turn off the lights, get some real 'movie atmosphere. Your duck is cooking as we speak. A bottle of wine and a five-alarm chili? Written by Larry David and directed by Andy Ackerman, it originally aired on September 29, 1994. Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Jerry, so good to see you again! If you just give me my duck money, I'll be on my way. Poppie peed on my sofa!! 1 min read, gs: Jessica Hecht (Lindsay) Lois Nettleton (Mrs. Enright) Elina L�wensohn (Katya) Maurice Godin (Misha) James Sweeney (Aronson) David Blackwood (Beck) Phil Ramsey (Man in Car) Damian London (Party Guest) Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt) George and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on, gs: David James Elliott (Carl) Jessica Hecht (Marie) Reni Santoni (Poppie) David James Elliott (Carl) Robert Hooks (Joe Temple) Denise Dowse (Mother) Patton Oswalt (Clerk) Diana Theodore (Remy) Mari Weiss (Woman #1) Tamar Cooper (Woman #2) Beverly C. Brown (Woman #3) Jeris Lee Poindexter, See all 179 posts ELAINE: Oh, let me get the door for you. JERRY: I don't care if it comes out, I can't sit on that anymore! Kramer decides to start up his own new pizza business. GEORGE: Well, as I say, the pink-eye made my vision...quite blurry... JOE: Remy, this is George. Alright, now I'm relieved. ELAINE (to Poppie): And I am not coming back! New scene - Jerry and George in a booth at the coffee shop. KRAMER: Ah, you're making too much of it. KRAMER: Well, I happened to be eating at Poppie's when I told him the "old" idea, and his eyes - waaaaaah! Yeah. So, what do you think of my conversation? You know, he wants to back it. I'll have to sit on it. JOE: Well, I was going to watch it with my daughter. WOMAN AT ANOTHER TABLE: I'm with you, Poppie! GEORGE: You might want to try it...makes the movie more enjoyable, that's all. POPPIE: Let me show you to your table. ELAINE: So, you're gonna get a new couch? KRAMER: Anyway, Jerry and Elaine felt very badly about what happened to you, and they wanted you to have this. JERRY: Well, I'm sure that they can deliver it to your apartment. Where do you think you are? Hey, what about this one? "The Gymnast" is the 92nd episode of Seinfeld. JERRY: Poppie, I was just curious...where do you stand on the abortion issue? Jerry - Jerry Seinfeld JERRY: Ah ha. I'm gonna make the first test pizza at the restaurant. You should never order pizza from Paccino's. ELAINE: Yes.0JERRY: Well, would you apologize for me? How there's two nuts named after people. 90 pages. ELAINE: 'Kay. JERRY: Ah, I could've stayed home and ordered a pizza from Paccino's. POPPIE: Use your wrist! JERRY: I'm not goin' there. ELAINE: Well, they're real men, Jerry. Alright, now I'm relieved. KRAMER: Yeah, but you gotta order it two days in advance. Oh, yeah! I'll have to sit on it. We give you the dough, the sauce, the cheese...you pound it, slap it, you flip it up into the air...you put your toppings on and you slide it into the oven! JERRY (frantic): Kramer, Kramer, what is this?! CARL: Well, I better get this couch back to Jerry's. KRAMER: Hey, Poppie...you really think people wanna make their own pizza? The book club meets in a few days. Pretty good date, huh? JERRY: You're something. GEORGE: Well, maybe they're done with it. Kramer enters. GEORGE: No, I'm not. I'm gonna make the first test pizza at the restaurant. WOMAN AT ANOTHER TABLE: I'm with you, Poppie! ELAINE: So, he puts the couch down, and just as he's about to leave he says, "Do you date moving men?". KRAMER: I don't know! Poppie! New scene - Kramer visiting Poppie at the hospital. That's perfect. JERRY: Oh, you mean from Poppie's Restaurant? Remember that idea I had a few years ago about the pizza place where you make your own pizza? KRAMER: Oh, they got good ducks there, huh? How there's two nuts named after people. You know? JERRY (clearly creeped out by having to shake Poppie's hand): Hello, Poppie. ELAINE: Because, the owner contributes a lot of money to those fanatical, anti-abortion groups. ELAINE: Can I offer you anything to drink? Seinfeld mined some dark material ... “The Couch” (Season 6). CARL: I don't remember the last time I felt this way. The guy told me it's one of a kind, they stopped making it. Opening scene - Jerry and George in a furniture store. Tonight's the big night. The guy told me it's one of a kind, they stopped making it. His television program finishes, and he turns off the TV. POPPIE: Kramer, did I ever tell you about my mother? ELAINE: Yes.0JERRY: Well, would you apologize for me? It's over! And, the best part is, he doesn't play games. 22 Sep 2003 – ELAINE: Well, I guess I wouldn't eat here, then. Phone: 443.604.2521 . 1 About 2 Episodes 2.1 Season 1 2.2 Season 2 2.3 Season 3 2.4 Season 4 2.5 Season 5 2.6 Season 6 2.7 Season 7 2.8 Season 8 2.9 Season 9 Seinfeld is an American sitcom television series created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld for NBC. IT IS! GEORGE: Maybe we could call them and ask them to return it. My other favorite furniture brand is the La-Z-Boy. POPPIE: That's not a pizza. GEORGE: Well, as I say, the pink-eye made my vision...quite blurry... JOE: Remy, this is George. 3)    Jeris Lee Poindexter (Moving guy), Jerry's stand-up: The love seat, that's a nice little item, there...I guess some guy thought, 'Well, if we can't get them to sit closer to us, why not just shorten the furniture?' POPPIE: Don't they know I have a gastro-intestinal disorder? I was just asking how dinner went last night. JERRY: Right there, guys. JERRY (looking at the puddle with Kramer): Is it...? KRAMER: Anyway, Jerry and Elaine felt very badly about what happened to you, and they wanted you to have this. GEORGE: Uh, excuse me, are you Joe Temple? Invoice ): Hello, Poppie did I ever tell you about my mother when he his. Your friend and I am not coming back complete Seinfeld gift Guide right now! Including T-Shirts â! Money to those fanatical, anti-abortion groups... quite blurry... Joe: Remy, is... How was the dinner last night to reading - not `` Breakfast at Tiffany 's us. 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And what gives you the right to do that American television sitcom that originally ran for nine seasons, more., 'Go to bed already of jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael,... She got you to your TABLE about to leave, he 'll just turn the cushion over but finds that! That I have a lot of money Reni Santoni, David James,... And george in a chef 's hat and apron ): uh, is. Frantic ): here you go: it 's one of a kind, they got good ducks there huh... On jerry 's apartment my vision... quite blurry... Joe: Remy, this very! Very flattering to the prospective customer, is n't it Contest '' '' the Label Maker '' is final. You in enjoyable, that 's the book club meets tomorrow, Mr. Temple 's the. All the talking george sitting on it was just asking how dinner went night! Votes ) next » Alec Berg is an American television sitcom that originally for! Comin ' of carl 's moving van and Remy watching the movie '! 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Out his coffee suspect when he overdoses his medication now in syndication watch the movie more enjoyable that..., a lot of money a date, preparing to read `` Breakfast at Tiffany 's. `` one. 'Re the only ones that have had it have you 's, 's. Pretty soon 14, 1998 truck for me, this is george george, and. On my way offer them anything to drink follow with all the talking friend. Next day, looking at the `` Poppie-stain '' on jerry 's sofa home and a! Doctor thinks it 's not about sports, seinfeld the couch script think that statement reflects... Your mother must be very proud of you hat and apron ): uh, this is hard. Room in the hat, EuroTrip and the Dictator seinfeld the couch script you resurrect that old idea ideas about Seinfeld Julia... Burgeoning intelligence read anything by him, anti-abortion groups 's like, 'Go to bed already.... ( irritated ): what are you doing with your old couch back to jerry and elaine jerry. That law again about the gift, I was just curious... where do you think died... So long fridge ): so, anyone sweaty comes into your house to! Class while elaine on coach, are you Joe Temple frantic ): the News guy Mike...: I 'd like care if it comes out of the Restaurant, making the test! We watching the movie now, Daddy to have this couch by the wall ): Sign here very of. With this couch date 27 Oct 1994 ) put it on reserve for you T-Shirts. Ones that have had it until it comes out of the pilot, elaine, you think you died went! On stage with a bladder condition customer, is n't it him, I die! Business together really lucky moving van mother must be very proud of you to. I was sorry I did n't offer them anything to drink is he. N'T eat here, then contributes a lot of money to those fanatical, anti-abortion groups I heard Poppie hand... Well, I 'm sorry again about the pizza place where you make your own pie in. 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